


LEMON Switzerland x Reader: My Lovable Idiot

by Francy_pants



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: F/M, Guns, Lemon, Reader-Insert, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-23 08:41:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4870474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Francy_pants/pseuds/Francy_pants
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Contains Vash, guns and sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	LEMON Switzerland x Reader: My Lovable Idiot

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there,  
> I made Vash speak a little French, it sounds sexier than Swiss German. No offense.  
> Hornussen is a traditional Swiss sport. Just watch [this](https://youtu.be/GdIHOV6VGNU). Personally, I can’t even…  
> Btw. Sorry for any errors, I’m not a native speaker.  
> Enjoy!

Your heart jumped as you saw your crush's face at your doorstep. To your surprise, he forced himself inside and mere seconds later, you were plucked against the wall by the unusually restless blond. Something cold and hard pushed against your throat, sending a shiver down your spine. You looked down and your worst suspicions were instantly confirmed - it was indeed one of his guns.

“V-Vash,” you managed, your lip quivering.

“Don't you dare use my human name again!” he yelped. “Tell me.” He took a good look at your shaking form. “Was this your plan all along? Get close to me, then wait for a moment of weakness and strike? That's so low, (y/n).”

“W-what are you talking about?” you whimpered, confused and terrified beyond words.

 _Yes, what is he talking about?!_ Your mind wandered back to the moment where it all started.

 

* * *

 

“You're an idiot, Vash Zwingli!” You suddenly remembered shouting, pressing an ice pack against your head.

_Wait, that’s not the beginning, either. Let’s try again._

 

* * *

 

That day, you came to see Switzerland for business. You didn't quite remember what kind of business it was, but you couldn't care less. However much you tried to deny it, you had quite a crush on the blond hermit. So what if he's a loner? It's his choice and you had to admit life was often easier without other people. And the way he treated Lily... Someone who loves his little sister that much can't be a bad person, right? You didn't find him weird and intimidating like others did. He was just... Different. Mysterious. And so stirringly handsome that every time your eyes met, you felt like you were on fire.

He didn't seem that reluctant to spend time with you, either. The looks he gave you, the handshakes you shared and the meetings he organized between you two always lingered a bit longer than necessary. And now, he even invited you over to his place for lunch! Business lunch, he insisted. Still, he had so little people over that this kind of invitation was a real privilege. Maybe also his way of saying 'I hate you less than the others'... Maybe.

Anyway... Once there, since no one was answering the door, you decided to check the back yard. This proved to be a fatal mistake. The last thing you could remember after stepping on his territory was a blow to your head. And a blackout.

As you woke up, you decided to keep your eyes closed for a while to figure out what was going on. Where were you? Were you in danger? The place smelled of cheese fondue and you felt a gentle hand stroking your forehead. You took the risk and opened your eyes. Your heart almost stopped as you saw your crush's face hovering over yours, an unusual, warm smile curving his lips. _I must have died because this is heaven,_ your dizzy mind marveled.

The second he realized you were awake, he quickly removed his hand and his face regained its usual, stern expression.

“Vash?” you breathed, blinking repeatedly. “What happened?”

“I-I was just… checking your temperature,” he mumbled as he looked away.

 _That's not what I meant,_ you thought, but you were too lightheaded to ask again. Noticing you were stretched out on a couch, you guessed it must be his living room. You tried to sit up to have a look around, but a sudden sharp pain stopped you. Your hand shot up towards the hurting spot on the top of your head. Still, despite the throbbing, you couldn't help feeling strangely excited at the same time - _I'm at his place, just the two of us! And he even touched my face!_

“Here.” The Swiss placed a small bag of ice onto your palm. You immediately put it on the sore spot for a little relief.

“Have some chocolate, too. Endorphins,” he said as he handed you one of his famous delicacies. Little did he know that his sole presence was the best possible painkiller to you.

You politely took it, giving him a curious look. He seemed distant and a bit weird, but it wasn't his usual sullen self.

“Vash, what happened? How did I get here?” you finally managed.

“You know, errr,” he started, looking sheepishly aside. And then it hit you. The word you were looking for, the word you never thought you would use in the same sentence as his name.

Vash was _nervous._

“It so happens that when you crossed my border, I was having a _hornussen_ training. And I… kinda... Well, I didn’t exactly mean to, but I hit you with the puck,” he mumbled, the last words almost inaudible. The endorphins running through your body were instantly replaced by a rush of adrenaline. And this is where you found yourself screaming at that Swiss idiot.

“You're the real idiot here!” he shouted, his self-assurance suddenly back. “I might have actually _shot_ you If I weren't busy! You should know better than to sneak in here without permission!”

For a while, you felt like throwing the ice pack in his face, but somehow, you managed to hold back. Maybe because it was the only thing you had left to ease your pain.

“I _do_ have a permission,” you growled, reaching into your pocket for the stamped letter. You handed it to the angry Swiss. “Directly from you.”

Vash raised his eyebrows and snorted, but the second he saw the paper, his face turned white. It was indeed _his_ handwriting. _His_ invitation. And he had forgotten all about it.

He slowly turned to look at you, mouth open, but nothing coming out.

"Hello, (y/n)," a tiny voice suddenly chirped. You both turned to see Liechtenstein standing in the doorway.

"Hi, Lily," you replied.

"Brother." She turned to look at Vash, "You didn't tell me you would be having a girlfriend over."

The two of you glanced at each other.  
"We're colleagues," you almost shouted in unison, embarrassed.

Intrigued Lily examined your ice pack.

"I had an accident." You smiled sweetly and Vash mentally sighed in relief.

"While making out with brother?" the little nation teased.

You blushed dark red, wishing the Earth would just swallow you up. Luckily, your crush decided to intervene.

"That's enough, Lily. This is most inappropriate. As long as you’re living with me, you’ll mind your manners," he chided the girl. "Now please go and set the table for three." His little sister shrugged and disappeared in the kitchen.

"You know what, I'm good." You stood up, aiming for the door. "I'd much rather go home and get some rest."

The blond sprang up and stopped you, his hand resting on your shoulder. You turned around to face him.

‘I'm so sorry for all this, (y/n). I really am,” he moaned.

A familiar sweet sensation took over you as he uttered those words; you didn’t doubt for a second they were true. Sure, he was sometimes a real moron, but damn, you couldn't really go on sulking for long.

"You should see a doctor, just in case. My health care is superior, you know," he insisted, his face displaying genuine concern.

"Don't worry. I'm fine."

He didn't look convinced.

"Then let me at least drive you home," he suggested and grabbed his car keys. You stopped him.

"Vash, I know you're worried about what happened, but you don't have to. I don't hold it against you," you said, earnest.

He seemed somewhat taken aback, frowning in that confused, cute way only he did.

“You sure?” 

"I know you didn't do it on purpose. Innocent mistakes happen. Just don't do it ever again. Or you'll seriously regret it," you threatened, only half-joking.

"(Y/n), really, I _swear_ I _completely_ forgot about the lunch. As if it wasn’t enough, I've done something stupid. I'm terribly sorry," he sighed again, giving you an almost begging look. "Can we please, _please_ keep this between us? I dare not think how this would be interpreted should one of our bosses find out."

"Of course." It was just an accident, both of you knew that. And you didn't want him to get into trouble, after all.

"Thank you," he breathed, relieved.

 

* * *

 

He decided to ignore your refusal and gave you a lift to your place. As he was helping you with the enormous basket of delicacies he insisted you take ( _Where did his usual stingy self go?_  ), your fingers suddenly touched. The basket almost fell to the ground as you both tried to move your hands away at the same time, blushing.

He walked you to your door, looking as if he wanted to ask you something. After a few minutes of pointless business talk, he finally got it out.

“(Y/n),” he started, rubbing his eyes. “The whole lunch thing went so very, very wrong and it's my fault. Let me make it all up to you. How about I take you out for a dinner? As a colleague, of course,” he quickly added, but blushed even darker than when you touched.

Your heart jumped. _He's asking me out! Vash Zwingli is asking me out!_

"I'd like that," you replied merrily.

For a split second, Vash's features relaxed into a sweet, meek expression, the one he had on when you had regained consciousness earlier that day. Then, he promptly turned neutral and serious again.

"Tomorrow at seven?"

"Alright." He nodded. “And, (y/n)?”

“Yeah?” you breathed.

“Thanks again for your discretion. It seems like good people are not extinct yet.” He smiled and you felt your stomach fill with butterflies. Only when his car disappeared around the corner did your heartbeat get back to its usual, steady pace.

 

* * *

 

You were just getting ready for your date, putting on your best lingerie when the doorbell rang. It couldn't be Vash yet, it was barely half past six. You put on a dressing gown and opened the door.

And that's pretty much how you got where you were.

“W-what are you talking about?” you whimpered, confused and terrified beyond words.

“You know damn well!” he barked. “I trusted you, (y/n). ‘I don't hold it against you, Vash’, ‘Innocent mistakes happen, Vash’,” he repeated mockingly your own words. “You promised to keep the incident secret, but instead, you made quite a story out of it. How could you?! You’re nothing but a liar. And I trusted you. I. _Trusted_. You. I guess I really am an idiot.”

“I-I swear I didn't-”

“Liar!” he shouted in your face. “You told everyone I seriously hurt you. Why, (y/n)?! Now everybody thinks I abused a visiting diplomat. I’ve got the whole Supreme Court of Europe on my back!”

He took a deep breath, still pushing you firmly against the wall.

  
“But let me tell you one thing, (y/n). Nobody fucks with me. Nobody!” Your heart skipped a beat as he forced the gun harder against your flesh.

“St-top p-pointing that thing at m-me, please, V-Vash…”

“Don't call me that! You've got no right to! I thought you were different. And it turned out you're just as spineless as the others!” the Swiss spat. You found yourself unable to speak. Before you knew it, hot tears were rolling down your cheeks - not so much at the idea that you were probably about to die, but the circumstances of your end. You were to perish by the hand of someone you loved and who obviously had nothing but hate for you. And all that for deeds you had never committed.

“Now confess or I might get trigger-eager,” he urged. You sighed, powerless, feeling a fresh batch of tears forcing themselves out of your eyes. Maybe you did have a confession to make, after all. And it was obviously now or never. 

“I... I love you,” you whispered helplessly and closed your eyes. 

Silence.

“Liar!” he suddenly yelled. You said nothing, just went on shaking.

“Liar,” he repeated seconds later, somewhat hesitantly.

“Liar,” he said while his soft hand got rid of your tears. You didn't dare say or do anything, not even open your eyes, afraid of what was about to happen.

“Liar,” he purred almost inaudibly as his mouth brushed against yours.

It felt so strange, so soothing yet so terrifying, your crush and his gun kissing you at the same time. Luckily, he got the idea and put his favorite accessory down, kicking it away to some unknown place without ever breaking your contact. You still trembled but he didn't mind, he just drew you closer with his now free hands and deepened the kiss. Seconds later, he pulled away, studying your face with a questioning look. You realized you weren't in danger anymore. You might have even managed to escape, if you tried...

But looking into those mesmerizing emerald eyes, your body was already making different plans.

“I love you,” you repeated, your temperature rising in expectation, although you weren't quite sure about what to expect.

“Liar. You didn't kiss back.” With that, he pressed his lips against yours and this time, you moved along. “Liar, liar, liar,” he murmured between the hot, devouring kisses you shared. His hands cupped your face for a while, then traveled down to your dressing gown to remove it with one smooth movement. “Liar,” he repeated once again, fondling your breasts while blowing warm air on your ear, tickling you.

“Idiot,” you sighed, wrapping your hands around his neck. You pulled gently on his hair and he started to nibble on your ear and lower, making his way down your neck. You moaned in bliss, slowly undoing the buttons of his shirt.

Together you removed his jeans. The second they reached the floor, bullets poured out of his pocket with a rather loud clatter.

“You didn’t think I’d point a loaded gun at you, did you?” He grinned, then let his eyes feast on your lingerie, or rather, what was hiding behind it.

“Idiot,” you teased halfheartedly, only vaguely aware of what he had just said. He wasn't bad, either, you had to admit. Even better than you had pictured. A little taller than you, lean and nicely built. Your gaze traveled down his chest and you blushed, realizing how tight his last piece of clothing had grown. _Is this really about to happen?_ The excitement was getting the better of you, your mind so clouded with lust you were ready for anything to get him right there and then.

Just as determined and aroused as you were, he plucked you against the wall once again, guiding your legs around his waist. You clutched onto him, scratching his back as he grinded his bulge against your already hot womanhood. Soon enough, the rubbing turned into bucking, your lover accelerating bit by bit as your breaths grew uneven and shallow.

“I... I need you,” you mewled, eyes hooded.

“Liar,” he taunted (which turned you on even further), but decided to put you down anyway. As his fingers brushed against the soaked lace of your underwear, he smirked smugly once more.

Mad with desire, you got down to the floor, tearing the remaining clothes off each other. He had a bit of a hard time undoing your bra, not realizing the opening was in the front.

“Idiot,” you teased yet again. He just smiled and gave you a light kiss. His touch was almost feathery, so in contrast with what was happening lower. That hard and hungry part of him was pressing eagerly against the space between your legs, almost begging for permission. Your hands went down to his bottom and pushed slightly, inviting him to go ahead.

He drove into you with a surprising ease, pushing all the way in and making some unintelligible sounds escape your lips. Wasting no time, he started to thrust. A completely new, wonderful sensation shot through your body and you knew right away you were at his mercy.

“V-Vash, oh! Oh God!”

“Yes, (y/n),” he managed between his own groans, “Moan my name... Moan to your man!”

Your lover was decidedly full of surprises. He had always been so stony-faced and cold, where was all that sensuality coming from? Although... now that you had come to think about it, he was angry most of the time, too. And anger is just another kind of passion, isn't it?

“Vash, mmmhh…AAAHHH...”

At the sound of his name, the man’s movements grew quicker and more powerful. He went in and out, lustful and unstoppable, and all you could do was move your hips in sync to get more of him - more of him to make your head spin in ecstasy, more of him to rock every bit of your body, more of him to make up for all those nights you had wished he was there with you.

He put your legs on his shoulders, your body tossing and turning in all the pleasure he was giving you.

“ _Ma petite chérie,_ ” he purred, nipping one of your calves.

You moaned uncontrollably as his thrusts turned into ramming, almost punishing, yet so heavenly. He was driving both of you up that hill, and, well aware of what awaited you there, you gave yourself to him entirely. Your mind did not race anymore, your eyes did not see anymore, your sweat mixed with his and the whole world seemed to be on fire... So hot you couldn't breathe, so hot it was burning you alive, so hot you and your lover seemed to be melting into one, crying each other's name as you tensed up in your climax.

You collapsed on the fluffy carpet and just laid there, holding each other and panting.

“What did just happen?” you mumbled a little bit later. Honestly, you knew very well what had just happened. The real question was what would happen next.

He must have been thinking the same thing; he said nothing, just drew you closer. You both knew that as soon as you started talking, things would get complicated again. Your happiness was short-lived, soon interrupted by a buzzing sound coming from Vash’s jacket. He gave you a pained, apologetic look.

“It’s an emergency phone, I have to take it.” You nodded and let go off him. He slid into his boxers and left the room to take the call.

In a way, it was a good thing he had left for a while. Your head got a chance to clear up, now able to take the right decision. Piece by piece, you put your clothes back on and sat down on the couch.

Before too long, he came back and got fully dressed as well, then took a seat next to you. For a while, no one talked.

“It was Lily.” He finally broke the silence. “She called to confess. It was her. She got jealous of you so she told others about what happened, exaggerating the facts somewhat.”

“Mystery’s solved then.” You smiled bitterly.

“She’s really sorry,” he added as if it would fix things between you two.

“You’re an idiot, Vash Zwingli,” you moaned, burying your face in your hands.

“I turn into one every time I’m around you."

“So now it’s _my_ fault you’re an idiot?!” you barked.

“That wasn’t an accusation, that was a confession,” he explained, raising your chin so your eyes would lock. You chose to look sideways.

“Vash… Leave. Now,” you ordered.

“W-what? (Y/n), how can you ask that?” His eyes widened in shock. “After what happened?!”

“That… It was amazing,” you had to admit. “But it was a mistake. You are crazy. You are bad news. You march in here, stick a gun under my chin and expect me to -”

“I told you it wasn’t loaded! I would _never_ hurt you, whether you did it or not. But I needed to do that to find out the truth. To know how to feel about you.”

You turned to look at him.

“So?” You raised an eyebrow. “Do you know how to feel about me now?”

“Yes.” He smiled, the tenderness in his eyes saying it all. He reached out to touch you, but you moved away.

“I do, too,” you went on. “And as I said, you should be leaving.”

He said nothing, just kept looking at you.

“I can’t live with a man who doesn’t trust me. So, go now.”

He didn’t seem willing.

“(Y/n), please, _please_ , you can’t be serious?!” he managed. “I-”

“Go. Now.” You stood up and opened the front door.

He didn’t move at all, looking as if engulfed in some inner conflict. Then, he stepped towards you and - to your infinite astonishment - went down on his knees.

“One more chance, (y/n),” he said as he looked up to you. “Please, give me one more chance and I promise I’ll never let you down.”

Sure, you were flattered, but your pride had got seriously hurt earlier that day. So, no. No more chances. You’d had your run.

“My answer is no. Now leave,” you commanded. Except that he cared too much to give up so easily.

“Isn’t there anything I can do to make you forgive me?” he asked. “Anything?”

 _Oh, God._ You felt the ice walls within you slowly melt again. That Swiss idiot. You just couldn’t resist him.

“Anything?” You gave him a perky look.

“ _Anything._ ” He nodded.

A large, mischievous grin stretched upon your lips.

 

* * *

 

Your face was lit up with the exact same grin as you contemplated the group picture you had taken with other countries at work. To buy your forgiveness, Switzerland had to come dressed in his national costume - the one for women.

“You just _love_ that photo, don’t you?” Vash sighed, rubbing his eyes.

“Not at all.” You did not even try to stifle the snort.

“Liar.”

“Idiot.”

“I probably am. But I sure married smart.” He smiled and you couldn’t help smiling back, cuddling closer to your husband.


End file.
